Etiquette expert and writer Charles Purdy, a.k.a. Mr. Social Grace, lives and works in San Francisco. His popular manners- and lifestyle-advice column appeared in the "San Francisco Weekly" newspaper from 2000 through 2005; he has also written regular columns for "Genre" magazine and PlanetOut's Web sites. He is a frequent guest of KFOG Radio's "Morning Show," where he answers called-in questions about living well and behaving courteously.

Charles has appeared on numerous television programs, including "Good Morning Canada," "Mr. Romance," and "Life & Style"; his advice has appeared in the "Wall Street Journal," "Real Simple" magazine, and many other publications; and he has conducted seminars on topics from table manners to business etiquette, for third-graders, finance professionals, and many other groups.

Charles's approach to etiquette is different from many other givers of etiquette advice. First, he deplores etiquette’s mistaken association, in the minds of many people, with snobbery and elitism. He insists that good manners are available to everyone. He promotes etiquette’s true function
as a protector of every individual’s rights and responsibilities. To him, courtesy isn’t just about using the right fork at the right time, and it’s not
at all about name brands or extravagant expense—Charles sees courtesy as a noble, and richly rewarding, way of life.

Second, he aims to give modern people real manners advice that they can actually use—he provides the reasons behind the rules, so readers can use their own common sense to adapt those rules to new situations in a fast-changing society. In a friendly, humorous way, he gives etiquette context and meaning. Society is changing fast, and Charles addresses the concerns that modern people face every day—from problems presented by the new workplace informality to questions about the etiquette of sex and relationships. "Social Grace" isn’t here to wag a disapproving finger at you (well, not all of you, anyway). He's here to help.

"I have great faith in the power of good manners, and in my heart I believe that most people want to act correctly—they just weren’t taught how to do so. And before they have an understanding of the underlying principles of good manners, they reject these principles on the grounds that they are arbitrary rules or simply tools that snobs use to keep ‘lower classes in their place.’ But the fundamental basis of proper behavior has always been kindness and consideration for others. Etiquette in its true sense gives us an agreed-upon way to communicate respect for other people and for our communities. Additionally, social rules have roots in the past, and modified as they may be in modern times, they connect us with history and weave us more firmly into the fabric of society.

"Who can argue that this isn’t something we should all be working toward?

"Another of etiquette’s functions is to make everyday things such as eating, working, riding the bus, and having personal relationships less mundane. These activities have a rich history and are worthy of respect. If you treat your daily affairs as if they’re of the utmost importance (and aren’t they?), you might find that you pursue them with a little more joy and enthusiasm. Try it for a week and see."